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Plz check out my high school resume?!?

Here's my resume:

Profile:

An open minded college enthusiast with an extensive background in cultural diversity and hard work who has proved to make any situation work toward his focused goal.

Education:

•St. John’s High School (2005-2007)
oHonors: National Honors Society

•Keystone National High School (2007-present)
oHonors: Delta Epsilon Tau International Honors Society
oGPA: N/A
oClass Rank: N/A

•Quinsigamond Community College (2008-present)
oHonors: Phi Theta Kappa International Honors Society

Experience:

Volunteer, VA Hospital, 2006-2008

•Assisted in patient care.
•Did various hospital tasks.

Employee, Fresh Farms, 2006-present

•Work included:
oCleaning the floors.
oShelving food.
oWorking the cash register.
oCutting meat especially during Islamic holidays.

Interests and Activities:

•Muslim Groups:
oHead of the Worcester Islamic Center (WIC) Youth Group.
oCo-administrator of the Quinsigamond Muslim Student Association.
•Active volunteer of the Muslim Community Support Services (MCSS).
•Teaching in after-school programs in Al-Huda Academy.
•Muslim youth camp in New Hampshire in the summer of 2006 and 2007.
•Soccer:
oPlay on a regular basis in the WIC.
oPlayer at Al-Ain Sports Club and Rugby Football Club.
oCoaching the Al-Huda Academy Soccer Club.
•Charity Work: Co-administered the WIC Gaza Humanitarian Fundraiser.
oRaised $20,000 in charity.

Public Comments

1. Hi. Your opening statement needs to be cleaned up because right now it says "I like college, I am not white, I work hard at using big words." Maybe form a sentence with these words: enthusiastic (adj), goal-oriented, dedicated, adaptable.
It's cool that you're Muslim and that is definitely a bonus (because schools love diversity), but it seems like you are throwing it in everyone's face. You don't want to seem radical or extreme!!! So definitely leave out the part about cutting meat during Islamic holidays. There is no need to put the additional heading of "Muslim Groups" before listing them all. Spell out WIC (I don't know what it means, your admissions officer may not either)

Also, your Charity work should be listed with your VA stuff and should be expounded upon.

Are you a good enough athlete to win scholarships or join the college team? If so mention any awards and put in a separate section.

Good luck!

2. sounds good. maybe you could talk about what you want to major in and other extra-curricular activities you have participated in school. like sports or other various clubs. you have a lot of muslim groups, maybe you could join some other ones.